A family member of mine was a practicing magician when I was a young kid. When performing magic for adults, as one did in the late 80s, he would pepper his act with dirty jokes from these joke books from the 70s. This song is inspired by the following joke from one of those books, which I read at like age 8, and which is emblazoned forever in my memory:
A priest and nun, on mission in the Middle East, are riding a camel through the dessert. Out of nowhere the camel drops dead, leaving the two stranded miles from the nearest town, with little food or water, and no hope to survive. The priest, understanding that he's about to die, whips out his cock and tries to persuade the nun to have sex with him. The nun, a virgin, doesn't understand what he's talking about.
"But, father, why should I put that inside me?"
"Because, sister, we're about to die, and this is my staff of life!"
"STAFF OF LIFE FATHER?!" she exclaims. "Shove it up that dead camel's ass, and let's get the hell out of here!"
lyrics
Funeral break in, lock the churcH doors, a captive crowd
casket lid creakin, the her eyes say "yes", those thighs, they say "right now"
before all these witnesses, consecrate that rancid ass
the gleam of light in her eyes, darkened to a funeral pyre
i am infected, always erected, my seed is cursed, ready to burst
spread those cold legs for me, oozing disease, a red light recline, your dead flesh is mine
my mourning wood has a deadly tip, slayin the livin with its morning drip
funereal thrust, undeadly hump, invigorate cadavers with poisonous spunk
mourge invasion, after hours, i crept in
drawers and drawers, a zombie hoard, once I slip it in
doesn't matter how I cum, in her cooter, up his pooper
mouth or face or tits or butt, corpses wake when I bust my nut
juice of unlife will flow, the epidemic will grow
i am infected, always erected, my seed is cursed, ready to burst
i am infected, always erected, my seed is cursed, ready to burst
credits
from Putting the Fun in Funereal,
released August 6, 2018
lyrics and music by Josh and Kyle
the sample is from an interview with a guy who ate someone's face, not while on bath salts. It's pulled from an episode of the Podcast Sword and Scale
Head Ripping Gore from the bowels of NJ! Servant girl annihilator: kyle - brutal bludgeoning and vocal cudgeling josh - steel string throat garrotes and sonic torture tabulator
Elainnihilator - brood queen of the abyss
